God save me from nights like this.

We are making no forward progress in sleep training our child. In fact, I think we're making backwards progress. On the once a quarter nights where I go out with a girlfirend, I get the text messages that ask things like "Is the bubble bath safe for him to drink?" and "what if he gets some of the lotion in his mouth?" I also get questions about the proper order of sanitary additions. Do you add the Desitin before or AFTER the powder?, with the following second guessing "are you sure this stuff is safe for babies" thrown in randomly for good measure. If my child is asleep at all when I get home, it's never in a position he normally sleeps in, or in a space where he normally sleeps. I found him standing on his feet, bent over double on the ottoman, sound asleep one night. The TV was on full blast, and he was snoring away. There was the evening he pulled the towel off the towel rack and made himself a bed on the bathroom floor.


Worse than finding him asleep in weird positions is finding him NOT asleep at all, and hours pst his bedtime. He's lying on the bed, sobbing, with the occasional primal scream for good measure. He's covered in snot, all hot and sweaty, and completely inconsolable. I have to pull out the big guns for these instances. I warm up the full repertoire of lullabye songs.... I sing him "Easy People", "In the Hush Before the Heartbreak", "The River Shall Rise", "Baby Mine", "Blackbird", "The Tennessee Waltz", "The Rainbow Connection", "The Wurlitzer Prize", "The Long Day is Over", and even the awful song my mom sang me about a dying child "Put My Little Shoes Away". I sing them over and over - my personal best was A 5 time repeat of the full rep before he sacked out.

Tonight is measuring on par with a night where I was not here to put him to bed, except I was. Last night was equally bad, with a slight deviation, Daddy got home before BabyBoy was soundly asleep. He sat straight up, punched me in the cheek bone and said "NO. DAAAAH-DEEEE". It took nearly two ours of squirming, singing and crying last night.

Tonight is shaping up the same - hubby's upstairs, delaying the inevitable where he enters my circle of hell that is playing the sound track of a screaming baby that I don't know how to help. In the meantime, I'm settling down for round 3 of the Tennessee Waltz.

I'm about ready to bundle him in the car for the 17 mile lap I used to take with him when he was a constantly crying baby with gastric reflux. At least he sleeps in the car.



- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad. Fueled by coffee.

Location:5th circle of hell, aka beside the crib

Thanks for your opinion, asshole.

Techinically, this should be a mommy blog post, but since I included "Asshole" in the title, and fully expect to exceed my unofficial "fuck's per page" (FPP) limit for that blog, I decided this is better suited for 'Still an Adult'.

Last week a friend shared that a mutual friend had maligned decisions I've made as a parent in regards to Babyboy's sleep schedule and sleep patterns.  I'll admit, 'malign' is probably a harsh word to assign to it, but it surely felt like it was said with that intent.  I'm sensitive about myself as a parent - I feel like I'm in this with no instruction manual, no feedback other than people sharing their personal opinions, and every decision I make is met with my own internal dialogue questioning the decision, as well as "are you sure?"'s from my husband, friends, well-meaning people on facebook, etc. I'm already prone to second guessing myself - I don't need commentary from the peanut gallery reinforcing that.

When I heard this criticism, I sort of lost my shit.  Here's the thing I've learned.  Every baby is different, and no one, no matter how well meaning, knows that baby as well as his or her own parents.  Decisions are made based on that personal knowledge of your child, and personal knowledge of your own family dynamic and those two things are weighed against the options, and you decide how to move forward that works best for those people actually involved.

It's true.  We have not done sleep training with BabyBoy.  We choose to take him out to dinner on a regular basis, and sometimes we even (GASP) MISS BEDTIME because of that.  It's our decision to make, and we're pretty lucky that our little guy rolls with it.  We're also lucky that our friends have been accomodating of earlier meeting times to try and keep bedtime in mind.  As a parent, you may have different priorities that work for your family dynamic, and that's fine.  But don't fucking hold up my decision as the wrong decision and use that to justify what works for you.  Grow a set of balls and say "thanks for the invite, but that doesn't work for us.", not "We don't agree with how Hubby & Rae do it."

I'm a good parent.  My little boy is happy, healthy, and well adjusted.  You're a good parent too.  Your child is happy, healthy and well adjusted. Congratulations to both of us!

Now keep your fucking opinions to yourself.