Wednesday, December 14, 2011

Thanks for your opinion, asshole.

Techinically, this should be a mommy blog post, but since I included "Asshole" in the title, and fully expect to exceed my unofficial "fuck's per page" (FPP) limit for that blog, I decided this is better suited for 'Still an Adult'.

Last week a friend shared that a mutual friend had maligned decisions I've made as a parent in regards to Babyboy's sleep schedule and sleep patterns.  I'll admit, 'malign' is probably a harsh word to assign to it, but it surely felt like it was said with that intent.  I'm sensitive about myself as a parent - I feel like I'm in this with no instruction manual, no feedback other than people sharing their personal opinions, and every decision I make is met with my own internal dialogue questioning the decision, as well as "are you sure?"'s from my husband, friends, well-meaning people on facebook, etc. I'm already prone to second guessing myself - I don't need commentary from the peanut gallery reinforcing that.

When I heard this criticism, I sort of lost my shit.  Here's the thing I've learned.  Every baby is different, and no one, no matter how well meaning, knows that baby as well as his or her own parents.  Decisions are made based on that personal knowledge of your child, and personal knowledge of your own family dynamic and those two things are weighed against the options, and you decide how to move forward that works best for those people actually involved.

It's true.  We have not done sleep training with BabyBoy.  We choose to take him out to dinner on a regular basis, and sometimes we even (GASP) MISS BEDTIME because of that.  It's our decision to make, and we're pretty lucky that our little guy rolls with it.  We're also lucky that our friends have been accomodating of earlier meeting times to try and keep bedtime in mind.  As a parent, you may have different priorities that work for your family dynamic, and that's fine.  But don't fucking hold up my decision as the wrong decision and use that to justify what works for you.  Grow a set of balls and say "thanks for the invite, but that doesn't work for us.", not "We don't agree with how Hubby & Rae do it."

I'm a good parent.  My little boy is happy, healthy, and well adjusted.  You're a good parent too.  Your child is happy, healthy and well adjusted. Congratulations to both of us!

Now keep your fucking opinions to yourself.

Thursday, November 10, 2011

"Success with Honor"

I am appaled and physically sickened as this story of Jerry Sandusky unfolds.  I just read the grand jury report and along with complete disgust, I am MAD.  At least two janitors knew. At least one assistant coach knew. The athletic director and the school vice president knew. The school president knew. Paterno knew.  And yet, they protected the precious sanctity of a winning record rather than refuse to back down in defense of these boys.

Firing Paterno is not enough.  Firing the President of the school is not enough.  It's not about FOOTBALL, but a more fitting punishment for allowing this sort of behaviour to continue for YEARS would be to suspend Penn State from Division 1 Football.  Fuck the legacy, fuck the record, there are no wins in the win column that make at least 8 young lives that were irrevocably changed an ok price to pay.

And fuck the 1700 students rioting in the streets, saying Paterno deserves to coach one last home game.  1 in 3 girls is sexually abused before the age of 18.  1 in 6 boys is sexually abused before the age of 18.  In a crowd of 1700, look around.  Statistically over 400 people in that crowd were abused in some way.  If you want to stand up for something, stand up to end the henious abuse of children, the destruction of innocence, and the lasting negative impact on their lives.  Several of the reported victims are college age now.  I wonder how those boys feel, seeing their peers rally around an individual that allowed that abuse to happen and did nothing to stop it.  What must it feel like to know that piviotal moment in their lives is deemed less valuable than allowing a man who touts the school motto ("Success with Honor") as his personal creedo who did NOTHING to save them the diginity of coaching "one last game."

The news has been covering this non-stop.  Hearing stories where Joe Paterno is lionized as a coach who cares, one who was always hounding students to keep their grades up, and hounding professors to get the straight scoop on those grades, as a man who was known for following up on things.  How can that be the same person that allowed a shower rape to be swept under the rug of the bueracratic chain?  Did winning at football really mean that much to him? How does this man look himself in the eyes in the morning when he looks in the mirror?  There is no success that warrants that lack of honor in my mind.

My heart goes out to the victims.  And my rage is firmly directed all the way up the chain.  Shame on every one of you adults who knew what was happening and did nothing to stop it.  Shame on a coach who allowed it to be swept under the rug.  Shame on the administration who continued the trend and then lied about it.  Enjoy your football record, assholes.  The legacy of Penn State will not be a win/loss record.  It will be of a vile cesspool that allowed a reprobate to target victims, then use university facilities for his atrocities.


In preperation for a new writing project starting in January, I've setup some space for my 'alter-ego'.  My other blog,  a mommy blog is where the trial and tribulations of being a parent will go, along with a lot of sweetness because I firmly believe I have the best baby in the world.  This blog, however, is where I can still be an adult.  Where I can get mad about stuff, or say Fuck too much, or share the occasional embarrasing and inappropriate story.  First content post coming soon!

Thanks for coming along!