Wednesday, December 14, 2011

Thanks for your opinion, asshole.

Techinically, this should be a mommy blog post, but since I included "Asshole" in the title, and fully expect to exceed my unofficial "fuck's per page" (FPP) limit for that blog, I decided this is better suited for 'Still an Adult'.

Last week a friend shared that a mutual friend had maligned decisions I've made as a parent in regards to Babyboy's sleep schedule and sleep patterns.  I'll admit, 'malign' is probably a harsh word to assign to it, but it surely felt like it was said with that intent.  I'm sensitive about myself as a parent - I feel like I'm in this with no instruction manual, no feedback other than people sharing their personal opinions, and every decision I make is met with my own internal dialogue questioning the decision, as well as "are you sure?"'s from my husband, friends, well-meaning people on facebook, etc. I'm already prone to second guessing myself - I don't need commentary from the peanut gallery reinforcing that.

When I heard this criticism, I sort of lost my shit.  Here's the thing I've learned.  Every baby is different, and no one, no matter how well meaning, knows that baby as well as his or her own parents.  Decisions are made based on that personal knowledge of your child, and personal knowledge of your own family dynamic and those two things are weighed against the options, and you decide how to move forward that works best for those people actually involved.

It's true.  We have not done sleep training with BabyBoy.  We choose to take him out to dinner on a regular basis, and sometimes we even (GASP) MISS BEDTIME because of that.  It's our decision to make, and we're pretty lucky that our little guy rolls with it.  We're also lucky that our friends have been accomodating of earlier meeting times to try and keep bedtime in mind.  As a parent, you may have different priorities that work for your family dynamic, and that's fine.  But don't fucking hold up my decision as the wrong decision and use that to justify what works for you.  Grow a set of balls and say "thanks for the invite, but that doesn't work for us.", not "We don't agree with how Hubby & Rae do it."

I'm a good parent.  My little boy is happy, healthy, and well adjusted.  You're a good parent too.  Your child is happy, healthy and well adjusted. Congratulations to both of us!

Now keep your fucking opinions to yourself.

No comments:

Post a Comment